Everything was fine. Work was slow, FatQuest2 was going along smoothly, and I had lulled myself into daydreaming about a thinner, more muscular sasquatch who attracted women by the thousands with a flicker of his perfectly formed bicep.
Then it happened. Disaster struck. I went to a friend's house after work this evening after not having eaten in nearly 6 hours. My stomach grumbled like the Mount St Helends and my mind reeled at the countless hours spent without having eaten. I vowed to fix a couple of nice chicken breasts after visiting my friend, but when I arrived at his house I was shocked to see that he had ordered pizza. Three pizzas, in fact. With mushrooms and extra cheese. He stood before me like Eve with the golden apple that eventually brought hte fall of man and I, like the countless others before me, gave in to temptation and took part in the fat-laden goodness therein.
But all is not lost, my friends. If the Bible teaches us anything it is that we can come back from disastrous defeat to find greater glory, provided we seek our strength from a higher power. And we can learn from our mistakes.
When I got home this evening, I went for my usual walk and by the time I got home I felt amazing. I glanced at the clock and found that I had bested my 55 minute goal by three whole minutes. My legs felt like tree trunks and my arms felt like wright iron. I felt like Samson in his prime.
Except bald. And fat. And not Jewish.
I made a mistake, yes. But this mistake is not the end. No no no! It is merely a road bump in the road to better heath. Fear not, fair reader. Soon the pounds will fly off with lightening speed and a newer, thinner sasquatch will emerge from the cocoon of lard to take the land by storm.
Just you wait and see!
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