Thursday, July 19, 2007

Harry Potter Spoilers

I found these spoilers online Highlight the following text, if you dare:

"1. The boat sinks.
2. Harry sees dead people.
3. Hermione, really a guy.
4. Kreacher killed him in the conservatory with a lead pipe.
5. Voldemort is blown up after a rag tag bunch of fighters shoot a photon torpedo up his hidden vent hole.
6: The death eaters were created when the ministry tried to pacify an entire planet using an airborne drug.
7: Hagrid is shot off of the owl tower by biplanes.
8: Harry originally got his magic when he took the red pill.
9: Dobby throws his sock into the volcano.
10: Voldemort got his power when a cursed spider bit him.
11: Harry and Hermionie, twins separtaed at birth. Oh yeah, and Voldemort's his dad.
12: Hagrid's zoo gets out of control, takes over the island.
13: Monkeys.
14: He uses the wall of the outhouse as a sail.
15: Draco uses the magic amulet to wipe out all the vampires.
16: Rosebud is a broom.
17: Snape is really Tyler Durden.
18: Hogsmead is actually in the middle of downtown London, but no one knows it.
19: Harry is saved by a living statue sent back in time by himself.
20: Hagrid tunnels out using a little rock hammer hidden in Hogwarts, a history.
21: Neville is Kaiser Soze
22: It's Mrs Weasley's head in the box they give to Mr. weasley.
23: Everyone is arrested at the castle after a cop car pulls up and takes them off to jail.
24: Lucius Malfoy gets lost in the maze and freezes to death.
25: The entire D.A. dies defending the bridge.
26: Luna blows the monster out the airlock. She is wearing only her underwear
27: Voldemort is really just part of Snape's split personality.
28: Hogwarts is just a modern nature preserve.
29: Ron, Hermione, and Harry sit in Hogsmeade drinking butter Beer. One after another, Death eaters enter the bar, giving the trio menacing looks. Voldemort walks in and orders an apple pie. Harry puts a tune on the Jukebox and then ... the last 11 pages of Book 7 are blank.
30: Taking a cue from Fox television, Bloomsbury cancels the release of book 7 due to a false perception of falling sales.

Don't say I didn't warn you.