Monday, October 29, 2007

Did I say that out loud?

You know you've checked out of your job when, in response to a co-worker's suggestion about a particular course of action, you utter the following:

"You might want to try to get [boss] to pimp that one, because my pimp hand isn't strong enough for that."

Countdown to new employment: 9 days

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Intelligence

Intelligence: n
  1. Wait until late June to address the broken air conditioning in the building, leaving my office to roast at over 100 degrees until almost Independence Day.
  2. Turn the air conditioning off September 1, when the temperature outside is still quite warm. Temp in my office: 103.
  3. In response to complaints, wait for temperature to dip into the 60s, then turn the a/c back on. Temp in my office: 40.
  4. In response to complaints, turn on heat in the building. Temp outside creeps back into the 80s. Temp in my office: 105.
  5. Temp outside continues to rise. Heat is still on. People complain vociferously.
  6. Facilities responds by turning on the heat for the second floor and the a/c for the first floor. Temp on first floor: 40. Temp on second floor: 95. temp in my office: 101.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Screaming

Me: Did I tell you? We might move to the bigger office downstairs soon.
My Student Assistant (MSA): Really?
ME: Yeah. It's the one with windows.
MSA: Is there room for a jousting ring?
Me: Probably.
MSA: Awesome.

(pause)

MSA: Wait...Can we shut the office door to keep all the screaming in side?
Me: Um ... What do you plan to do in this new office?
MSA: I don't know. But I'm not gonna be the one screaming.