Friday, February 04, 2011

Writing on a regular bassist

So I didn't win the contest I sorta talked about in the last post. That's okay. It was an honor just to be rejected. Seriously, though. I think its time to start writing on a more regular basis (MS Word tried to turn that into "bassist." That's kinda funny. Is a regular bassist a dependable bassist who shows up to band practice on time, or is he/she a bassist with a diet high enough in fiber that his/her bowel movements are within the normal range?).

Thanks to Nathan Bransford for picking my paragraph as a finalist, and thanks to all three people who showed up at my blog and thought, "How the hell did this guy become a finalist? He writes like a drunk turtle." You have all made my day.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to drink some beer, wax my shell, and give this bassist some oat bran.

-The Sasquatch

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Hello and Welcome

Hello and welcome to all the people who have come to this site from the other site where they're doing the thing I'm not allowed to mention lest I become disqualified and lose my shot at Internet glory.

A few interesting facts about me:
  • I can drink a 16 ounce beer in less than two seconds.
  • I used to use the "I can drink a 16 ounce beer in less than two seconds" line whenever I met new people, but I stopped once I graduated college (except for when I am in the company of lawyers, who consider such a feat a good indicator of intellectual prowess).
  • I have no idea who Mitch Hedberg is, but I'm certainly going to look him up on youtube once I get home from work and am able to watch videos on youtube without being threatened with corporal punishment.
  • Yes, my dad sometimes says those things, but he doesn't say them enough to fill in for the "#@!$ My Dad Says" guy, who totally sold his parents out for a crappy television show.
  • I think William Shatner would make a bad father.
  • He'd be a pretty good uncle, though.
  • A lot of people I know and like told me that Anonymous' entry was better than mine. I tend to agree. Anonymous' is shorter than mine and that makes it better because reading is hard.
  • If Shakespeare is right and Brevity is the soul of wit, I must be witless.
  • A lot of the people I know and like agree with the previous item in this list. Especially the "witless" part.
  • Thanks for looking at my blogger blog.
For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, just wait a few years for my next post. It will all make sense then.

The Sasquatch