The Best Thing That Ever Was

He smiles at me, the way he does, with his eyes cocked sideways twoards me and his mouth half open; expectantly, like he's listening to a long and complicated joke that's just about reached its punchline. Then I look at him and smile and he throws his head back and opens his mouth as far and as wide as he can, joy exploding on his face, the same way his momma does on rare and wonderful occasions. I smile again, hoping to egg him into another one, but he furrows his brow as if to say, "Not yet, old man." And just when I've about given up hope he does it one more time. We repeat this a few times as I change his diaper. In a few years I'll have to remind him to keep his voice down because its late and his laughter tends to wake up his mother, maybe his siblings (if there will be any) and most likely the neighbors as well. His voice will carry and he won't notice it. It will take constant reminding to keep from offending people. Just like his dad. But for now, whether there is noise or silence, I see him smile and I think to myself, "this is the best thing that ever was."

A Day in the Life:

9:08am

I just realized that my favorite morning radio program is still away for the Holidays, so I made up for it by tuning into an episode of “A Prairie Home Companion” from back in April. A friend recently made fun of me for listening to “old people radio.”

“Well I usually skip the talking portion and listen to the music,” I said.

“Like that makes it any better,” he said.

10:45am

My contacts are drying out and I can hardly see anything. I have the monitor set to “extra blind” and everything is still blurry. When I walk around, it’s like I’m surrounded by a 2’ bubble of clarity outside of which is a sea of shifting, liquid colors. There are people out there. Some of them speak to me. I turn my head in their general direction, squint like Mr. Magoo, and affect the best response I can muster before leaving as quickly as possible so as not to appear stupid.

12:30pm

I went to a place called W.G. Grinders for lunch today. It was the first time I had been there. It’s cold but pleasant outside, so I walked about half a mile there. I’m without a car today, so that’s another reason. The restaurant had options for sandwiches. 6”, 10”, and 20”. I remember thinking to myself, “When I was younger, I probably would have gone for the 20in, but now that I’m a bit older, I’ll be responsible and get the medium.

About five minutes later, they brought out a sandwich that was twice the size of my head. I asked the owner if it was 10” wide as well as long. He laughed. I tried my best but was unable to eat the whole thing. A group of Marines at the counter laughed at me when I asked for a doggie bag. Some of them opted for the 20” sandwiches.

Does this mean I’m getting older than I thought or is WG Grinders just generous with their portions?

12:42pm

Is it just me, or does anybody else find it ironic that it takes upwards of two whole minutes to load a page titled “15 quick ways to improve your page load speed” from a popular web development website?

12:57pm

Most people would use twitter for this sort of thing, wouldn't they? Ah well.