Monday, November 14, 2005

Boring Essays

Since I have run out of interesting things about which to speak, and since the only thing going on in my life at the moment is the constant barrage of failure on the employment end, I think I’ll waste some time writing long-winded essays about topics that will drive you into a rage of insanity, put you into a sleep that is nearly as deep as a coma, or serve as an ipecac. That would be a good thing, though, since you didn’t really need to eat that burger for lunch anyway, now did you fatty?

Here are some topics I plan to investigate. If you like one more than the other, let me know. If you have an idea that is not on the list let me know. Otherwise, sit back, relax, and pour a cup of boiling hot water over your face in order to dull the imminent pain that will inevitably result from…

THE SASQUATCH: BLATHERINGS OF A MINDLESS IDIOT.

1) Intelligent Design
2) Politics in America.
3) Abortion
4) The status of baseball as the American national pastime.
5) George W. Bush.
6) The existence of God.
7) Pants
8) Literature
9) Potpourri!

This should drive all of you away in a hurry.

1 comment:

Meg said...

Pants. Definately pants.