Thursday, February 02, 2006

Ain't Got No Alibi

I took a few minutes out of my otherwise dull morning to help some of the guys from another IT office plan setup for a new computer lab which is slated to open at my library (MY library) in just under two weeks. While we were there, one of the managers walked by and said, “Hey let's get some pictures of the setup for campus ads.”

And then he said, “Hey Joe! You’re the new guy. You get to be in the ads!”

Now normally it’s a good idea to put “action” shots in your advertisements. Nothing turns people away faster than the idea that nobody will be in the shiny new lab but them. Well, you will get some people, naturally, but they’re usually the kind of people who prefer solitude and privacy when computing. These are not the kind of people to whom you would like to cater unless you charge a steep by the minute fee. And even then you want to make sure you’ve got a good deal of industrial strength cleaning supplies.

They took the pics with me as the star, and I was truly amazed at how ugly I am. Most people, even those with self esteem problems, have at least a little bit of confidence in their looks. Nobody expects to glance in the mirror and see Lurch from the Addams Family glaring back at them. Or this.

Click the pic for a sexier Sasquatch

DAMN! The baldness. The Quasimodo lump on my back. The turkey neck. I am one UGLY sonofabitch! The massive gut (hidden by Isaac’s head). No wonder I can’t get a date.

(eagle-eyed sasquatch fans will notice that the man sitting just behind me is none other than Tim Timbermann, aka “Felty,”, who went missing several years ago and has since returned to civilization. He works a few buildings over from MY library).

1 comment:

jimi said...

i especially like the girl posing in the background - that's great.

Wait, you're a guy? All this time reading your blog and...nope - i can't even pull that attempt at a joke off. nevermind.